Category Archives: Apes

To prevent spoilers, use proper labelling

From the Unreleased happy meal toy for Rise of the Planet of the Apes,
an increasingly complex movie plot and title.
“An instant classic!” Raves some.
“Companies with ape-related names have been reluctant to cash in on the movie..”
. Not us!

A handy label for your water bottle: Good for keeping brain serum fresh.

And a handy water bottle for your label: That you can buy.

I promise you the details have nothing to do with the movie. I suggest you verify this.

Chimpan news

There’s this ape-centric show in Japan called “Chimpan News Channel”..
It’s a talk show- the chimp speaks Japanese, so I don’t know what he’s saying 😉

Hosted by a very smart pair, the chimp and his trainer.
Because you gotta be good at your stuff to get this sequence done:

I’ve seen dumber gardeners without that much improvisational skill.
He’s pretty smart. May take over the place some day..

Apes for cons and weens

Listened to a thingy on NPR the other day about blogs reviewing products they received from companies wanting ‘blog exposure’. Reviewers are advised to be at least familiar with the products, or be under the delusion they know enough about their blog topic to evaluate stuff.

So, it’s ‘Planet of the Apes’ makeup fx shopping time! I’m talking real glue-on-the skin latex appliances, not the ‘suitable for halloween’ masks that would get you laughed out of a comic convention. I want to get in on this action with a call out to these folks:

ebay gorilla nose $35.95
Rating: 2/5 not quite proper POTA but could be a distant cousin, or for those actually wanting resemblance to a wild ape, not a movie one. no eyebrow bumps, though.

Cinema Secrets Ape Man
Rating: 3.5/5 again, a resemblance but not quite a POTA. could be optimized for that, though.

“classic chimp” $49.95, costs more than the ‘new chimp’.
Rating: 4/5 very close to the real thing and a good starter kit, not official licensed merchandise.

Apemania raw prosthetic kit
$150, but an official licensed item. 4.9/5 as far as fx goes, pretty much the real thing..
These are the folks who run around Fox studios in their promotional videos of late.

If you have money to spare (oh, a grand) you can set yourself up a full suit from them with only makeup detailing required…

With all of these, you will need to either know someone or are capable of proper transitioning and shading between your non-ape self and the appliances;
Standards of quality, according to our editor-in chief:

“Ideally suspension of belief; not ‘wow, cool makeup!’ but instead, in-character believability.”

So.. each of these monkufacturers are invited to send along evaluation products of these items, and I will give a fair and honest review and/or promotion of their product.
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