Category Archives: Apes

because webmonkees: really really messing with a Zoomer Chimp with like chips and wires and stuff but its funny when they fall over

It’s an amazing bit of technology. This particular example was acquired on the cheap due to misalignment of the USB interface and a possible problem with the charging system or battery.

LITHIUM ION BATTERIES (LiON)ARE HAZARDOUS

(SEE ELSEWHERE from better knowing peoples)

LIONS DO NOT USUALLY CONTAIN  BATTERIES

BUT ARE ALSO HAZARDOUS IF MISHANDLED OR SHORTED

HAVE  VENTILATION, A BUCKET OR OTHER PANIC METHODS HANDY.

DO NOT PUT BUCKET ON HEAD.

(That concludes the safety precaution to cover the rest of it. Charging system is not relevant to the task at hand, but of course a normal one from the store should have all that working right unless you dropped it far.

DO NOT DROP FAR

I said that’s enough with the safety disclaimers. Be safe.)

um, so what do we have here. First off a examination of the board reveals a shiny shiny precious ring of POO wait what POI.. something fishy.. VCC GND oh I know those. Not energizing circuit until

ALWAYS ASSUME A BATTERY HAS A CHARGE UNLESS WELL YOU KNOW IT DONT.

sorry, we’ll try to keep it to just here at the start so later when people google end up on page 3 with no warnings about DO NOT FOLD SPINDLE OR MUTILATE THE LiON unless your’e Swedish and have a hydraulic press and plenty of ventilation and panic buckets.

More precious leads MISO, now I want to order takeout, MISI, a female deer, SCK,  which some might say that graphic monkey head thing as the cover image is, but in this case it’s serial clock. Then and an intruiguing ACC and AGND which, true story, due to the screen print being overlapped on the leads, I was initially looking for an

AGNU protocol as one does.

THE AGNU PROTOCOL IS NOT RELEVANT BUT FUNNY TO SOMEBODY. Be afraid.

 

Coming up: Part too of destruc er instructables: Zoomer Chimp Arduino control: Behind the Scenes at thrift store toy story horrorshow.

We apologize if any dismembered robot parts make anyone squeamish, but that’s what happens when anthropomorphous entities are a semblance to us.

NEXT STEP: CHA CHA, part 2

To prevent spoilers, use proper labelling

From the Unreleased happy meal toy for Rise of the Planet of the Apes,
an increasingly complex movie plot and title.
“An instant classic!” Raves some.
“Companies with ape-related names have been reluctant to cash in on the movie..”
. Not us!

A handy label for your water bottle: Good for keeping brain serum fresh.

And a handy water bottle for your label: That you can buy.

I promise you the details have nothing to do with the movie. I suggest you verify this.

Chimpan news

There’s this ape-centric show in Japan called “Chimpan News Channel”..
It’s a talk show- the chimp speaks Japanese, so I don’t know what he’s saying 😉

Hosted by a very smart pair, the chimp and his trainer.
Because you gotta be good at your stuff to get this sequence done:

I’ve seen dumber gardeners without that much improvisational skill.
He’s pretty smart. May take over the place some day..

Apes for cons and weens

Listened to a thingy on NPR the other day about blogs reviewing products they received from companies wanting ‘blog exposure’. Reviewers are advised to be at least familiar with the products, or be under the delusion they know enough about their blog topic to evaluate stuff.

So, it’s ‘Planet of the Apes’ makeup fx shopping time! I’m talking real glue-on-the skin latex appliances, not the ‘suitable for halloween’ masks that would get you laughed out of a comic convention. I want to get in on this action with a call out to these folks:

monku
ebay gorilla nose $35.95
Rating: 2/5 not quite proper POTA but could be a distant cousin, or for those actually wanting resemblance to a wild ape, not a movie one. no eyebrow bumps, though.

hauntyourhome.com


Cinema Secrets Ape Man
$41.95
Rating: 3.5/5 again, a resemblance but not quite a POTA. could be optimized for that, though.

mostlydead.com

“classic chimp” $49.95, costs more than the ‘new chimp’.
Rating: 4/5 very close to the real thing and a good starter kit, not official licensed merchandise.

apemania.com

Apemania raw prosthetic kit
$150, but an official licensed item. 4.9/5 as far as fx goes, pretty much the real thing..
These are the folks who run around Fox studios in their promotional videos of late.

If you have money to spare (oh, a grand) you can set yourself up a full suit from them with only makeup detailing required…

With all of these, you will need to either know someone or are capable of proper transitioning and shading between your non-ape self and the appliances;
Standards of quality, according to our editor-in chief:

“Ideally suspension of belief; not ‘wow, cool makeup!’ but instead, in-character believability.”

So.. each of these monkufacturers are invited to send along evaluation products of these items, and I will give a fair and honest review and/or promotion of their product.
Not listed here? let us know! we’re on the gmail under webmonkees.